Coverage/Script Doctoring Sample_2

We need to get to know Erwin's private & public life in this beginning sequence- We need to know his public life as a scientist, and his private life, his relationships. Whether he is in love with Marian, or Qin, or Sarah- exposition needed to be set up clearer here. I recommend Vogler’s writer’s journey to set up characters archetype. Bring in a Herald/Mentor to do the expositions. So the viewers are not left confused! There can be puzzle, mystery, but there should be no confusion! Once the viewer is confused, they would not want to keep watching.

Complete Synopsis and Coverage Sample_3

I think the story has some good intentions. It definitely has a lot to say about the film industry. But I think all the points are very explicit, and superficial. As a comedy, the jokes are not that funny and very out-dated (eg, men having nosebleed when Xiao Ling shows her boobs; the crew member all having diarrhea), and it is quite a hard-hitting preachy movie. It tries to make fun of the way how the industry wants sellable and bad quality film, but at the same time, this film presents itself as one of those films.